I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize