Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
