Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize