Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
This is classic penis vs brain.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize