Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Floor bacon is actually really good
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
