Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
