No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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