Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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