Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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