I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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