Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just google imaged poop.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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