Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
