Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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