Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize