peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
third nipple confirmed
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
