I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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