this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
jump out the window naked night went bad
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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