508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
