i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
