Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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