My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
