I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
as a side note pls kill me
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
