I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
just found out that she named her cat after me.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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