i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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