I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
