My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
