I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
