i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
