Well apparently he's into motor boating.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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