It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Randomize
