3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
