Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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