so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
