New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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