I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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