I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
