I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
