you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
