I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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