he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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