try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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