I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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