hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
