Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
