first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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