does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
