i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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