I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Someone came in the potted fern
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
