Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize