I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
