only if we run a train.
done.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
