just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
