I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
