How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
