We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
