the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We're too hungover to prance.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize