i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
