i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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