Duck Duck Cougar?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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