i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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