Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
