The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
