She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize