I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
is this the sara with the beer cane?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
